Giving up on someone is almost like you lose part of yourself. Even though it isn’t something that I particularly want to do.
I used to wonder why it seemed so easy for you to break the promises you made me. I would find myself questioning why I’d forgive you every time, despite the fact that you never accepted your wrongs, and secretly kept punishing me for the things I did not even do because you just wanted absolute compliance with everything you did—careless gestures, half truths, hiding, uncaring thoughtless actions and keep ignoring them. Every mistake you made, we picked up the broken pieces and carried on. You made every reaction of mine to your hurtful way into a mistake I made and carried a grudge too for it.
I held on for a long, long time. I’ve only been grieving for what we used to have since. I miss the person I thought you were. I miss what I used to think we had. But I realised you left me behind and want others. For the longest time, I held on. I was fighting a losing battle the entire time. I was fighting alone while you were dreaming of someone else.
The truth is that you’ve never cared about me. Not in the way that I’ve cared about you. You’ve never cared about us. You’ve done nothing but take me for granted, and I feel like a fool for putting up with it for so long. Well, no more.
I’m giving up on you because of all the times you promised me you’d change and didn’t. I’m giving up on you because you couldn’t even be bothered about me. Today, you finally made me realise I mean nothing and you want someone else.
I’m giving up on you because you never put me first. You never even put me second. You just took advantage of my kindness and compassion while you wanted someone else.
I don’t want to put myself through this anymore by talking to you and you showing me how little you care about me.
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. ” – Mark Twain
Right he is, Mark Twain. I struggled a lot the past week. Not because of the histamine intolerance, but mostly because of my day job, which is pretty stressful at the moment. Somehow all the stress from last year got added up, and i didn’t have the time to get it fully under control during Christmas.
During these days, you realize what family really is. When your significant other is there for you although you’re just not who you use to be. When you don’t even like yourself anymore. And he still likes you.
Stress is so bad for the body and I’m trying very hard to keep it under control to not have it control myself. Because it’s not worth it. It’s not worth it to give yourself and your body up just for your job. It’s not worth it to start fighting over the smallest things with friends and family cause you don’t have yourself under control anymore. In these moments sometimes you don’t know what to do anymore. But keep in mind - you ARE replaceable. That’s the cruel reality in such a field I’m working in. Yup. So if you pull out - it’s ok. And you’re not weak. In fact it’s the opposite. It’s STRONG. It’s strong to feel your body and know what it needs. It’s strong to stand up for yourself and your health. It’s strong to know what you want.
Sometimes you just need some outstanding people help you remember, like @alexabrebecca. Thank you.
I don’t wanna be disappointed in twenty years. That’s why I’ll try to watch as many sunsets as I can. And that’s why I’m trying to not fight anymore about stupid little things. If you are not happy with your life, change it. Love it and keep it or hate it and CHANGE it. Who’s with me? Who wants to take 2019 and let it be the year of change?! :) who wants to watch sunsets with me?!
i’m always fascinated by the differences each sunrise portrays, as if the universe is asking to be recognized and appreciated for its beauty..it’s like a massive paint brush is mixing new shades of the same warm colors on an art palette & painting them across the sky..